Storyteller

I have stories to tell.

Some stories have happy, tidied, trim, and clean, or revelation-filled endings to them. Some stories are of pain and struggle and wrestling.

Many other stories are still in process, perhaps in the middle of the chapter, and I’m curiously waiting to see just how they will end.

These are my stories, filled with carefully crafted pages, plot twists, questions and <sometimes> answers, and a never-ending, always-pursuing, faithful-forever-Friend who invites me into THE MORE.

We were created to be storytellers. We were created to give to one another. To exchange. To pass on our stories. To cross-pollinate our ideas, and to encourage one another by sharing our experiences and our thoughts.

Last summer while in the midst of a worship service, God spoke to me by showing me a picture. It was of a volume dial – like the kind you’d find on an old school radio (or jam box, I’m showing my age!). He said to me, “It is time to turn the volume up, Leah. Your voice needs to be heard. You’ve been quiet for long enough.”

You see, the Lord asked me to write a blog several years ago. That’s right, you read that correctly – years ago. I’ve been having a rather looooong discussion with Him about why it wasn’t a very good idea. I’ve had lots of legitimately GOOD reasons why it wasn’t necessary. In fact, I even sort of half-obeyed Him (you know about those “half-obedience” kind of things, right?) by what’s called “blogging in my head.” This means I would write a blog (most of the time in the shower – which is my quiet, happy place where I can hear myself think). I’d write it, and read it through. I’d say to myself, “Wow, Leah! That’s so good! Mm-hmm. I’m going to chew on that some more…” And then I’d talk to Jesus about it, and I felt like we’d go back and forth some about what I wrote. It was our little blog we could talk about and discuss together. It was safe. He knew my heart. He knew what I meant, and I didn’t have to worry about Him misinterpreting my words. And, anyway, I was still “writing the blog,” just not sharing it with the entire world wide web. What does it matter if it’s private or public, I’d say… Yet, He still pressed the matter with me. He would ask me, “Why? What are you afraid of?” in His always kind and sincere but firm voice. And, then I would realize a fear, and that would lead to a season of working through an issue in my heart. This went on and on and on… YEARS, I tell you what! It has been a long conversation we’ve been having. We worked through lots of fears, and then a season where I just plain ole procrastinated because of “good excuses” rather than fears… I worked through a long list of those and that bought me even more time of putting it off because, I mean, I’m a homeschooling Mom of 4 girls, and I’ve got hormones flying everywhere in this house and we are SO very busy, etc, etc… Honestly, I think that I thought if I stalled long enough maybe He’d just kinda give up on the idea and do whatever He needed to do another way. He is resourceful and creative, right? Aren’t I so funny?!?!

I felt His big ole thumb pressing down on this blog thing AGAIN, and then I said in a sort of whiney, temper tantrum voice, “Why? Why do you want me to do this so bad? Why won’t you just Let.It.Go?” And, you know what He said to me?

“Because I love you too much to let it go. Because this blog is for your healing. This blog is for you to step into greater wholeness. This blog is for your health. This blog is for your breakthrough. Do this for yourself, not for anyone else. Love yourself enough to do this.”

And, so, here we are… I’m not exaggerating when I tell you it has been a long road to get to this point. He has done so many layers of healing to get me right here, right now. His patience with me is mind-blowing. His tenderness with my heart moves me to tears. His relentless pursuit takes my breath away.

I have stories to tell. They’re my stories, and they’re stories of His faithfulness through it all. I hope that by reading, you will be able to relate and find some things to chew on – perhaps to cause you to pause and evaluate, or perhaps to inspire you to share your story, too.

Steffany Gretzinger’s Come out of Hiding:

Morgan Harper Nichols’ Storyteller (with Jamie Grace):